The doctor said it was not a fat pocket, which I had suggested, but she wasn't sure what else it could be and since I never go to the doctor's office unless I have pneumonia, they wanted to do a full work up on me and check my blood, urine, everything. I agreed. That all came back good, so they sent me on to get an ultrasound done on my neck to see what it was. The results came back saying I had a virus my body was fighting and that's how it was revealing itself. I took antibiotics for a week and then went back 2 weeks later sometime in November for a follow-up ultrasound. This time, they were bigger and there were more of them. I got referred to go to a specialist.
My appointment was sometime in December and needless to say, this Dr. Rothman was good, but we were NOT going to be lifelong friends. He did not laugh at my jokes, he was not funny. I make jokes when things get uncomfortable, get over it and laugh a little guy, I apologize that you deal with serious cancer, but if I have cancer - we are going to laugh so there, suck it.
I went to the appointment all by myself thinking if anything had to be done, it would be rescheduled for another day. He decided that I had way to many swollen lympnodes and he was going to do a needle biopsy right there. I will admit, I had a small panic attack right before he came back into the room to do it. I texted Jared and asked him why he wasn't with me, he was really sweet and did offer to leave work right that second and head over there but he never would have made it on time. Then I texted Stephanie who gave me great encouraging words and walked me through exactly what was going to happen. They "numbed" up the area first and then proceeded to stick the needle in and suck the life out of me like a dementor...I might be slightly exaggerating, but it was painful, I could feel the stuff literally leaving my body and getting sucked up and he wasn't funny so I called him that - in my head of course.
He called me back two days later and told me he came back negative for all varying types of cancers, but the only thing he couldn't rule out was lymphoma because I guess that can be in your body for a year to two years before it really reveals itself and the only way to fully know if it is or not is to have surgery and have a lymphnode removed.
We scheduled the surgery for January, after the holidays, Disneyland and a dance competition. Monday night January 28th, the night before, Stephanie and I went out and grabbed french fries and fries sauce and concretes and sat around eating them while watching Honey Boo Boo - it was awesome! The fatty night didn't stop there...Jared was not one to ever indulge me in my pregnancy cravings - if it meant leaving the house for some food, forget it. So I told him this would be his chance to redeem himself. I could no longer eat, drink, chew gum, anything after midnight so at 10:30pm Jared went to Los Favs and got us a bean burrito and a breakfast burrito and we ate it and watched our shows together. I have to say, as fattening as the night was, it was super fun!
The next morning I got up and went to boot camp at 6:30am. I HATED not being able to chew a piece of gum or take a drink, but I had nothing else to do so I might as well get my sweat on. After that I went home and got all the kids off to school and then just as I came home and was going to clean my house, Denise showed up and surprised me by taking the day off of work to hang out with me and keep me distracted until 1pm when I had to go to the hospital for surgery. We went back to the gym for some arms and then ran outside for a bit, came home and made a Valentines craft and then went and grabbed the twins from preschool.
My mom showed up to babysit the kids while we went to the hospital. On the way there my cute dad called me and wanted to make me laugh and take my mind off things for a few minutes so he told me about a dozen P.D. jokes....see just like a Rodgers, always laughing through the bad times, I love it!
We got checked in and had to wait FOREVER. To occupy ourselves, we might have taken a few pictures that made us laugh...
sexy with the IV
my dead face for when I would bleed out during surgery...
and a few other pictures that my mom would not approve of so I wont post them on here.
Finally it was my time for surgery. The anethesiologist came back and introduced himself and was very kind and funny (thank you very much!) and he put some drugs in my IV and then as he wheeled me to the back he asked how I was feeling and I said, dizzy and light headed, he smiled and said, good, good!
I got into the surgery room and they moved me to the operating bed, started to strap my arms down and that's the last thing I remember. The next thing I remember I was in the recovery room, my mind was awake, but my body was not moving and my eyes weren't opening. I heard a loud beeping noise and then a nurse shouting, "Bob, you have to breathe!" then the beeping stopped. A couple minutes later I heard the same thing, if I had been more awak and capable, I wanted to shout, "Damn it Bob, breathe so we can all get some rest!" but alas, I didn't have the energy so the funny stayed in my head.
When I was finally awake enough they kicked me out of the hosptial and sent me home. I think I slept the whole way home. Stephanie was so good to me, she knew I would not want to come home to noisy kids so she picked up my kids from my house and took them to her house and fed them dinner and didn't return them until it was their bedtime. When she had told me these plans ahead of time, I didn't think any of it was necessary, man am I glad she did. I was miserable when I came home. Jared went and picked me up some soup from Paradise like I wanted and I choked on the bread, couldn't really eat it, I was in a ton of pain, so at least I had a quiet house and my husband sitting right beside me waiting to help me however he could.
The next day was not any better. I slept most of the day and was in a lot of pain. I refused to take percocet, so I just stayed drug free, although I did take an Ibprofen one or two times and that helped a little bit. I was more frustrated with the fact that this doctor made it seem like no big deal, but I could not function at all with how I thought I could and how I wanted to be. Yes, I did enjoy the next day off and being waited on, but on Thursday, I wanted to be back to normal. Friday morning was the first day Jared left me alone. I was waiting for the call for the results all morning. I truly believed deep down that I did not have lymphoma so I wasn't really worried about it like other people were. When my phone rang, my heart raced and I was nervous for the first time. It came back negative! I was so relieved and so was Jared.
The rest of the week I still couldn't turn my head normal, I couldn't stand for a long time with out getting dizzy and lightheaded and I slept way to much. It didn't help that I ended up developing a giant puss pocket there and it got swollen the size of a golf ball...don't worry, I went back to good old Dr Rothman, but he said to let it be, even thought Emma's emergency room doctor told me I needed to go have some of the puss removed and it would help me heal faster and quicker. I also asked Dr. Rothman what I was supposed to do if my lympnodes get swollen again...go back and see him or just assume it is all ok, he laughed and said, "how am I supposed to answer a question like that, what if you get cancer when you are 60" and I said, "exactly, what if I do" his response was those are just to hypthetical questions for him to answer so I told him, "fine, I wont book a follow-up appointment for 3 years from now!"
Sheesh, I left not being a fan of him at all personally, but professionally he was a good doctor and a proactive one. I am grateful the surgery ended up being unnecessary since I do not have lymphoma and I am grateful for my health. I am grateful for all my friends who helped with the kids that week and who cooked my family dinners that week. I truly felt spoiled and loved, especially since it ended up being the unnecessary necessary surgery!
Two weeks later while in Tucson at a dance competition with Emma, our roomie a nurse, did me a favor that my doctor wouldn't and removed my last stitch and it FINALLY healed up and got better! Thank you Elsabe, feel free to bill my insurance! PS - after my surgery and Emma's ambulance ride, we have no more money in there :)
The end! Now to get rid of my scar, hmmmmm....
1 comment:
I can't believe all that happened! When I asked you about it at the soccer game you were so nonchalant about it. Sorry you had to go through that but glad it ended with good results. Ps....I don't understand the looking great just after giving birth either! I try so hard each time and still look terrible!
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