IT'S ONLY KINDERGARTEN...

I am learning as a parent there are many decisions to be made on behalf of our children. What clothes to wear, what to feed them, which toy to buy them, etc. Then later down the road they grow up a little bit and the decisions get a little tougher, which activities to let them do after school, which tv programs to allow them to watch, what are appropriate chores for their age, you know things like that. Then every once in a while you get hit with a little bit tougher decision to be made. It seems silly really, kindergarten or preschool?! Who ever thought that question would stress me out so bad. I mean the kid is 4 years old for crying out loud. It is not which girl should he marry, which college should he attend, something like that, just the basics...should he do another year of preschool or start kindergarten early?!
This next portion is a letter to Eli. I am writing this to you, Eli, because I was told by a good friend that she did not test her son early to start kindergarten and he is now in jr high and is not happy about it and wants to be in the older grade but she still stands by her decision and I wanted you to know that some day if you get mad or frustrated with me, I did not make this decision lightly, I stressed over it, I cried over it, I got sick over it, I prayed over it, I changed my mind a bazillion times about it, I talked to numerous people about it, you get where I am going with this buddy.Elias Grant, You mean the world to me buddy. You are the sweetest, most kind hearted kid I know. How you have grown leaps and bounds in the last 2 years and have completely changed from my unsocial, non-talker child to this boy who loves to chatter away to people and you make friends every where you go, even in the play area in Chick-fil-a, I love it and I love that about you.
The decision to start you early in kindergarten was not an easy one. I had to weigh all the pros and cons to it. On one hand, all your friends were starting kindergarten this year and you would be the only one not doing it. On the other hand, keeping you back a year would give you an advantage when it comes to playing sports - theory has it - you will now be the bigger kid which is the advantage. Starting early would benefit you because you are so smart, I think you get bored a little bit at home and need more challenging things in your day to day life. Then again, waiting a year means your kindergarten year should be rather easy for you and you won't really struggle with it because you will know all of it by then. Do I start you early and then you have a year after high school before you mission, or do I wait a year and then you go straight from high school to a mission?! There were so many different scenarios running through my head. Some people told me I was thinking to far into the future and I just needed to worry about right now, but I thought what I did right now will affect your future so it was imperative that I made the right choice for you.
One Friday while your dad was in Oregon, I finished at the gym and I thought I had a few hours before nap time, it was time to nip this decision in the bud...I was going to take you and the twins around to all these different schools in the area and see about starting early, doing half days at charter schools, pulling you out of kindergarten early so you only went half day, repeating kindergarten twice, etc. With all 4 of us in tow, we headed out to 5 different schools and I went back to 2 of them so all in all I went to 7 schools with you boys. In between each school I would feed you boys a snack and call your dad and report what I had learned. Some times there were tears of frustration and not knowing what to do, sometimes I was angry at the school for wasting my time, sometimes I just cried because I was so stressed I couldn't even think straight. Daddy was always very calm and supportive of what I was thinking. It bugged me. I wanted him to get all fired up like I was, but that's not his style and we love him for that. Then I would call Grandma Rodgers and she would walk me through the thinking process and even get tips from some of her co-workers. They helped a little, but I was still stressed. The long day had finally come to an end and I mulled it all over during the weekend and we finally decided that we were going to keep you in preschool another year.
Two months later they decided to build a new school right by us and it sounded like it was going to be a perfect fit for you and your brothers. I went to the school meeting thinking this was the school and you would start early. I left the meeting that night thinking that school was not the perfect fit for us. Waiting one more year for you to start kindergarten was for sure what we were going to do. We loved your preschool, your teacher, you loved preschool and we were just at peace with the decision.
A couple days later I couldn't shake the fact that all your friends were starting this year and you were the only one not starting. Dad and I talked and prayed and I cried some more and we are finally firm in our decision to wait another year. We can't really explain why that is. We can say all the simple answer like, waiting a year for boys is always better, you will be bigger for sports, you can graduate and go straight on a mission, boys mature slower than girls so you will be fine, blah blah blah...but what it really comes down to Elias is that sometimes, you just don't know exactly why you make the decision that you make right now. Perhaps some day down the road we will know, but for now we just trust in Heavenly Father and we know that we are doing what is right for you. We love you more than anything and we would do anything for you. Please understand that someday if you are upset that we held you back, we didn't do this to make you angry, we truly did what we thought was best for you. We love you buddy!
Love,
Mom