UNIVERSITY OF UTAH!

The last 3 days have been filled with highs and lows. Moments of holding our breath, eyes glued to the phone, crossing our fingers, praying so hard, etc. We have been waiting for January 15, 2020 to come for several months now. It is the day that Utah is going to let everyone know who got accepted into their school It is the day that Emma has worked so hard for. She is the girl with a zero hour PLUS an online class every year just so she can graduate in the STEM program, be in National Honor Society, Spanish Honor Society and Rho Kappa Honor Society, took all the AP classes, honor classes, etc. We toured University of Utah in September and that sealed the deal for her - she knew she wanted to be a Ute. She met with them when they came to Perry, she would email them every time she got another award, etc.

But, every once in a while her and I would talk and we would say, "if it's meant to be, you will get the Presidental Scholarship from there and then we can afford it and we will know and if you don't get it, we will know you are meant to go some place else." It's very easy to say that in October, November, December and beginning of January. It's very different January 15th.

Emma knew on Tuesday night, January 14th, she was going to have to give her cell phone to me that night. She knew that she would be phoneless all day at school because I was not going to get a text or call from her telling me she got accepted. She agreed. Tuesday as she was driving to Perry to cheer for the game Utah sent her a freaking text and told her Congratulations you've been accepted. I was pissed. I used some colorful language. I couldn't even really congratulate her. They robbed me of that moment with my girl. We even had a plan in place with cheer on Wednesday that the coach would read her letter out loud and surprise her and then we would give her the cookies and balloons, etc. Did I mention I was mad at Utah?!

I tried to think of a back up plan, but I didn't have much time because I had to run out the door to a cheer booster meeting I was in charge of. I asked Jared to run to Bashas and grab balloons and then we would give her the red hoodie we had for her. The Coach texted me when the basketball game was almost over so I could end the meeting and beat her home. When she walked in we cheered for her and surprised her with balloons and a hoodie.

Wednesday the actual day we let her take her phone since it was all ruined anyways. Later I discovered on Instagram that they announced they would be sending out that night who got into the Honors College. So I took her phone. I carried 2 phones around with me. I kept checking. Nothing. That night in bed I was complaining to Jared how frustrating this all was. He couldn't figure out why didn't have any email or anything. Finally he thought to check her spam folder. It was in there. She had been accepted into the Honors College. We decided to wait it out and see if we could figure out something with her scholarships and what they were doing about that.

This morning when I woke up I noticed on Utah's instagram page that they said that scholarship offers had been sent out. Emma had had an offer sitting in her account since Tuesday, but Jared didn't think that was her scholarship. He thought it was a generic one.

I got the boys all off to school and then called Utah. The jerk on the other end of the scholarship phone number didn't even want to know my name or my student's name, he assured me whatever was in there was what it was. I bawled. I cried. I called Jared and I cried some more. Then I called Megan and asked her how to be a dream crusher like she was. She gave me some helpful tips. It still sucks. I decided that I needed to frost the damn sugar cookies and present them to her today with her Honors College letter. I frosted. I cried. I was still frustrated with how could all this happen to Emma after how hard she had worked to get there only to not be able to go based on finances.

Then I got a call from Libby and she needed to talk about the mutual activity we were doing next week and how now the men wanted to join us. She could tell I was grumpy and asked what was going on and I broke into tears and told her. While crying my other phone rang and it was the Stake President calling. I told Libby I would call her back.

I tried to hide my bawling but I couldn't. Finally President Hansen realized I was crying and asked what had happened. I told him how I had to crush Emma's dreams when she got home from school. Then he asked if he could tell me something that would cheer me up. I obliged.

On Sunday when Emma spoke in Stake Conference and a member of the Seventy was there, he was really impressed with Emma. Well last night as President Hansen was leaving the church his phone rang and it was Elder Piper. He wanted to thank Hansen for the lovely stake conference again and how much he enjoyed the youth speakers. How much he loved Emma's talk. He was so impressed with her. He has to report back to the Quorum of the 12 and the Prophet himself in a few weeks about how his territory is doing - he is over the whole SW USA. He really wants to tell them about Emma. He wants to put together a presentation about Emma's talk, he wants her to fill in the blanks she didn't get to fill in because she had to cut it down to 5 minutes. He wants pictures of her. He wants a quote about her from our Bishop and a quote about her from Libby the YW President. He is putting together a presentation on Emma and her talk and showing it to those great leaders of our church.

Through all the tears, heartache, anger and sadness and wondering how this could happen to Emma who has worked so hard...30 minutes before she is to arrive home, I get this call from our Stake President. Heavenly Father truly is looking out for us. He knows Emma. He knows her desires. And he wants to make sure we know he knows by all this going down at this very moment.

I don't think I fully understand all of that until after I hung up the phone with President Hansen and called Libby back and I told her and she started sobbing Target and reminding me of all of this and how loved Emma is. Then I was sobbing again.

Jared got people to cover his work meetings in the afternoon because we needed to rip the band-aid off and let Emma know and the best time was now while no one was home and no distractions. She came home, walked in and saw the cookies on the counter and her letter. She picked it up and read it and jumped up and down and let out some screams. We smiled at her. Then she asked about scholarships. Then I had to tell her. She looked at me with a quivering lip. I told her, "it's ok to cry girl, I have been crying all day"  And the belly sobs began. She couldn't believe this. Her dream was gone.

I talked to her for a bit and then it was Jared's turn. He started to speak but the words couldn't come out. He sobbed. He gathered himself and talked to her. Then we got to tell her about the presentation to the Prophet about her, we got to talk about other options, the love we have for her, the love Heavenly Father has for her and the love all the people around her have for her.

While today was full of tears and heartache....It was also full of reminders of how much Heavenly Father loves us. I had 2 friends who I had been crying with remind me of this. I had friends texting to see what happened yesterday because they knew it was the big day, we have a guy friend coming over tonight to surprise Emma and take her on a date, I ran into Natalie at Costco and she randomly had things to say, Brynn who has been our Utah connection has been trying to help us and checking on us.

Emma is amazing. She knows she will end up where she belongs. Big things are in store for this lady and some day we will realize Heavenly Father's hand in all of this and why the things worked out the way they worked out.